Sensei Homer Simpson - 1st Dan Black Belt
Well this photo is living proof that just about anyone can achieve Shodan rank, even Homer Simpson, no insult intended of course. It also illustrates that a family that trains together also fights together as well. Homer is, of course, doing what a good father does, forces his entire family to suffer as much as he is in karate class.
Our club is proud to announce Homer's unprecedented rise, in only a matter of months with spotty attendance, to Black Belt. The circumstances in which Homer was recommended is indeed both noteworthy and heartwarming. A week after receiving his brown belt, Homer came into class with a variety of bumps, bruises, scrapes, stitches and a couple of minor bone breaks. Homer fell to the floor sobbing and said he just couldn't do it anymore. As his Sensei I said in sympathy 'Homer you never could do it in the first place". Homer then said that was just one of my many disrespectful comments toward him, and could we please get back to the business at hand. I agreed about the many disrespectful comments towards him, and said but "Homer, it really can't be helped!" Homer said Doh!!!! and went back to his story as follows.
Homer said his son Sensei Bart was not only tired of being his Sensei, but was totally embarrassed by the fact he could kick his father's butt whenever it pleased him, and the fact his father wasn't a even Shodan was just ...sad. Homer also said he could no longer take the endless beatings, throws and joint locks Bart insisted on practicing on him, usually culminating in a painful beatings. As his Senior Sensei I asked why he didn't defend himself, and Homer said he did, which was even more embarrassing. He said Bart asked him the same thing, and he told his son "he was old and had slow reflexes" ..... Bart answered "not slow reflexes, no reflexes, heh heh!", and proceed to beat him even more.
Homer said the only way he could gain his son's respect was to gain his black belt rank. At that point he fell on the floor, whining and begging for his recommendation. Out of extreme pity and against my better judgement, I agreed to grade him to Shodan under a few conditions. That Sensei Bart be the one guiding him through the grading, that he wouldn't cry until he went to the bathroom, that he ensured he had a standby ambulance ready for post grading, and of course that he donate a small sum of 5 thousand dollars to the dojo just prior to Sensei Patrick going on vacation. The final demand made of Homer was that once he reached black belt that he never, ever teaches any student anything, ever.......
Shortly thereafter his grading took place, guided by his son and mentor Sensei Bart. After the grading was completed, and Homer was released from the hospital suffering from dehydration, multiple cuts, scrapes, contusions and hematomas, and mild internal bleeding, he returned to the dojo to receive his black belt formally, this was not possible originally because Homer was removed by stretcher after his grading yelling "It wasn't suppose to end like this..." It doesn't hurt, ouch, it doesn't hurt, ouch, it doesn't hurt, ouch followed by an angushied scream...doh!!!!
Our club is.......kind of happy and a bit shy of the fact Homer is a black belt now, and we hope the laughing and snickering every time he comes to class stops soon....I mean my stomach is killing me from laughing so much every time he lines up. Lets just say Homer is living proof, if he can get a black belt anyone can, and ending in a compliment to Sensei Homer lets just say his powers of recovery from injuries is something every student can learn from....doh.
I just wish Homer would stop repeating "I'm a good Snowden, I'm a good Snow man, I'm a good Showman........DoHHHHHHHHH! I'm a good Shodan!!
Well this photo is living proof that just about anyone can achieve Shodan rank, even Homer Simpson, no insult intended of course. It also illustrates that a family that trains together also fights together as well. Homer is, of course, doing what a good father does, forces his entire family to suffer as much as he is in karate class.
Our club is proud to announce Homer's unprecedented rise, in only a matter of months with spotty attendance, to Black Belt. The circumstances in which Homer was recommended is indeed both noteworthy and heartwarming. A week after receiving his brown belt, Homer came into class with a variety of bumps, bruises, scrapes, stitches and a couple of minor bone breaks. Homer fell to the floor sobbing and said he just couldn't do it anymore. As his Sensei I said in sympathy 'Homer you never could do it in the first place". Homer then said that was just one of my many disrespectful comments toward him, and could we please get back to the business at hand. I agreed about the many disrespectful comments towards him, and said but "Homer, it really can't be helped!" Homer said Doh!!!! and went back to his story as follows.
Homer said his son Sensei Bart was not only tired of being his Sensei, but was totally embarrassed by the fact he could kick his father's butt whenever it pleased him, and the fact his father wasn't a even Shodan was just ...sad. Homer also said he could no longer take the endless beatings, throws and joint locks Bart insisted on practicing on him, usually culminating in a painful beatings. As his Senior Sensei I asked why he didn't defend himself, and Homer said he did, which was even more embarrassing. He said Bart asked him the same thing, and he told his son "he was old and had slow reflexes" ..... Bart answered "not slow reflexes, no reflexes, heh heh!", and proceed to beat him even more.
Homer said the only way he could gain his son's respect was to gain his black belt rank. At that point he fell on the floor, whining and begging for his recommendation. Out of extreme pity and against my better judgement, I agreed to grade him to Shodan under a few conditions. That Sensei Bart be the one guiding him through the grading, that he wouldn't cry until he went to the bathroom, that he ensured he had a standby ambulance ready for post grading, and of course that he donate a small sum of 5 thousand dollars to the dojo just prior to Sensei Patrick going on vacation. The final demand made of Homer was that once he reached black belt that he never, ever teaches any student anything, ever.......
Shortly thereafter his grading took place, guided by his son and mentor Sensei Bart. After the grading was completed, and Homer was released from the hospital suffering from dehydration, multiple cuts, scrapes, contusions and hematomas, and mild internal bleeding, he returned to the dojo to receive his black belt formally, this was not possible originally because Homer was removed by stretcher after his grading yelling "It wasn't suppose to end like this..." It doesn't hurt, ouch, it doesn't hurt, ouch, it doesn't hurt, ouch followed by an angushied scream...doh!!!!
Our club is.......kind of happy and a bit shy of the fact Homer is a black belt now, and we hope the laughing and snickering every time he comes to class stops soon....I mean my stomach is killing me from laughing so much every time he lines up. Lets just say Homer is living proof, if he can get a black belt anyone can, and ending in a compliment to Sensei Homer lets just say his powers of recovery from injuries is something every student can learn from....doh.
I just wish Homer would stop repeating "I'm a good Snowden, I'm a good Snow man, I'm a good Showman........DoHHHHHHHHH! I'm a good Shodan!!